The Law That Applies
New Jersey handles this under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act of 1991. It is a civil law, separate from any criminal charge. The same incident can produce both, and the two cases run on separate tracks with separate outcomes.
The Act only covers certain relationships. You can apply if the other person is your spouse or former spouse, or lives with you now or did at any time in the past. Regardless of your age, you can also apply against someone you have a child with, are expecting a child with, or have had a dating relationship with.
Someone with no such tie to you is a matter for the criminal courts, not this one.
What Counts As Domestic Violence
The Act lists specific offenses. The judge has to find that one of them happened. Being treated badly, on its own, is not enough. The list is:
- Homicide
- Assault
- Terroristic Threats
- Kidnapping
- Criminal Restraint
- False Imprisonment
- Sexual Assault And Criminal Sexual Contact
- Lewdness
- Criminal Mischief
- Burglary
- Criminal Trespass
- Harassment
- Stalking
- Cyber Harassment
- Criminal Coercion
- Robbery
- Contempt Of An Existing Domestic Violence Order
- Any Other Crime Carrying A Risk Of Death Or Serious Injury
Harassment is the one that comes up most, and the one fought over hardest. A sustained run of abusive messages can qualify. A single rude remark in an argument usually does not.
Getting A Temporary Order
A temporary restraining order, a TRO, is granted without the other person present. You apply at the Domestic Violence Unit of the courthouse in your county, or by phone during business hours. Evenings, weekends and holidays, you go to your local police station and they reach a judge.
If it is granted it takes effect at once. A TRO can bar all contact, remove the other party from the home even when it is in that person's name, give you temporary custody of the children, set temporary support, and order any firearms surrendered on the spot.
You do not need a lawyer to get a TRO. You need one for what comes next.
The Ten Day Hearing
Within ten days of the complaint the court holds a full hearing on whether the temporary order becomes final. Almost nothing else in the legal system moves at that speed, and it cuts both ways. Neither side gets long to prepare.
The judge decides two things. Did one of the listed offenses actually happen. And is a restraining order needed to protect the person who asked for it. The standard is a preponderance of the evidence, which is lower than the criminal standard.
On the second question the court weighs the history between the two of you, any immediate danger, the finances of both sides, the best interests of the victim and any child, and any pattern of coercive control: cutting someone off from family, money or transport, monitoring their phone and movements, threatening their relatives or pets, or threatening to report them to the police or immigration.
Witnesses testify and are cross examined. Messages, photographs, medical records and police reports go in as evidence. It is a trial, held at short notice, usually decided in a single day.
An adjournment can be asked for, and the temporary order stays in force meanwhile. Ask for one rather than walking into the hearing unprepared.
What A Final Order Means
A final restraining order in New Jersey is permanent. There is no set term and no yearly renewal. It runs forever unless a court is persuaded to dissolve it, and that is a hard application to win.
For the person restrained it can mean:
- No contact of any kind, direct or through other people
- Being barred from the home, even a home in your own name
- No firearms, and no firearms purchaser card or permit, for as long as the order stands
- Your name in the statewide domestic violence registry, which is confidential but is read by the courts, by police running a firearms or law enforcement background check, and by child protection
- Money damages for what the incident cost, counsel fees, and in the right case punitive damages on top
- Court ordered counseling
- Custody and parenting time decided against that background
Breaking the order is contempt, and it is a criminal charge. A second contempt conviction carries a minimum of 30 days in jail.
* If You Have Been Falsely Accused
False accusations happen, and they happen most often at the start of a divorce, when an order removing one parent from the house also settles who stays with the children.
Ignoring it is the worst thing you can do. If you do not appear and you were properly served, the judge can hear the case without you and enter the order anyway. Go to the hearing. Bring the whole message history rather than the part that was read to the judge, and bring anyone who saw what happened.
Do not contact the other party to sort it out. Not a call, not a text, not through a friend. That is the most common way a defendant with a good case turns it into a criminal charge.
How It Affects A Divorce
A restraining order changes the shape of a divorce from the day it is entered. One spouse is out of the house. Custody has already been set on a temporary basis. Support may already be running. Custody and parenting time cannot be sent to mediation once an order is in place.
The court also has to weigh any history of domestic violence when it decides custody, so a final order carries straight into that decision. It does not by itself end a parent's relationship with the children, but it puts that parent on the back foot.
Because the stakes reach that far, the ten day hearing is not a preliminary skirmish to be got through. It usually sets the terms of everything that follows.
If You Are In Danger Right Now
Call 911. The police can remove the other person, and they can reach a judge for a temporary order at any hour, including nights, weekends and holidays.
New Jersey's domestic violence hotline is 1-800-572-7233. It runs day and night.
Once you are safe, call us. We will take it from the temporary order through to the hearing.